Conan’s Farewell Speech

Ladies and gentlemen, before we bring this rodeo to a close, a few things need to be said. There has been a lot of speculation in the press about what I legally can and can’t say about NBC. This isn’t a joke, and to set the record straight, tonight I am allowed to say anything I want. And what I want to say is this: between my time at Saturday Night Live, The Late Night Show, and my brief run here on The Tonight Show, I’ve worked with NBC for over twenty years. Yes, we have our differences right now and yes, we’re going to go our separate ways. But this company has been my home for most of my adult life. I am enormously proud of the work we’ve done together, and I want to thank NBC for making it all possible. I really do.

A lot of people have been asking me about my state of mind. I’ll be honest with you: Walking away from The Tonight Show is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Making this choice has been enormously difficult. This is the best job in the world, I absolutely love doing it, and I have the best staff and crew in the history of the history of the medium. I will fight anyone who says I don’t (but no one would). But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian, every comedian, dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and for seven months I got to do it. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret one second of anything that we’ve done here. I encounter people now when I walk on the street who give me a sort of sad look. I have had more good fortune than anyone I know and if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-11 parking lot, we would find a way to make it fun. We really would. (But I don’t want to do it in a 7-11 parking lot!)

Finally, I have to say something to our fans. This massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming for me. The rallies, the signs, all the goofy, outrageous creativity on the internet. The fact that people have traveled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain... It’s pouring! It’s been pouring for days! And they’re camping out to be in our audience! Here’s what all of you have done. You have made a sad situation joyous and inspirational.

So to all the people watching, I can never ever thank you enough for the kindness to me [here his voice starts to break] and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. And all I ask of you is one thing, and I’m asking this in particular from the young people that watch: please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism—for the record it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere.

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, amazing things will happen. It's just true. As proof, ladies and gentlemen, let’s make something amazing happen right now. Here to close out our show are a few good friends, led by Mr. Will Ferrell...

[Surrender]

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